The Gospel According to Prisco

I’m back, baby!

My unrivaled loathing and scorn for the Fox Network knows no bounds.  Not only are they responsible for some of the worst reality television/game show abominations (Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, Temptation Island, The World’s Blankiest Blank CAUGHT ON TAPE!), but when they actually manage to eek out fine programming, they dash it against the rocks like a Chinese girl baby.

They have forced me into Braveheart mode.  Not only did they pillage my land (Family Guy), rape our women (Arrested Development), and kill our villagers (Firefly), but they slit the throat of the woman I love (Futurama).   Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network has essentially showed them what can be done with their ill-gotten leavings, by snatching up the programming, and literally carrying a network with late night programming.  And anime, I guess.

To me, Futurama was the perfect companion piece to the Simpsons.  It made for a solid hour of programming, despite some initial shakiness.  Fox was swinging the axe early at the Huh? nature of the show’s storyline.  From what I gathered, Matt Groening essentially said, “You get rid of Futurama, I’m taking the Simpsons with me.”  And that threat kept it alive and gave it a chance to grow.  True, the writer’s never seemed sure what to do with it.  But it had this Capraesque sweetness to it, with many of the episodes actually bringing you to tears with laughter and sadness.  The Simpsons didn’t hit their stride either until the later seasons.  Nobody was sure how to do an animated sitcom.  That didn’t stop people from putting them out there, but sure.  It was a tricky little bitch.

After Family Guy was resurrected, dug up, apologized to for the horrible mix-up, given a pat on the butt and sent back into the game, hope dawned for the resurrection of Futurama.  Rumors were abound.  But, since they waited 17 years to do a fucking Simpsons movie, it seemed doubtful that we would see a reemergence.  Particularly since upon coming back to the screen, Family Guy decided it wanted to take on South Park as being the most OUTRAGEOUS cartoon on TV.  And for a man who has actually been ON Robot Chicken, Seth MacFarlane should have known better.  You best not fuck with cable when trying to be raw.  Do you wonder why the most provocative shows are on after 10 PM?  Because they’re raw.  You aren’t getting away with that under the watchful jowls of Rupert Murdoch.  Best, back off, mofo.

A joyous cry went up in the land when they announced the return of Futurama.  It was an interesting prospect.  They were going to do four feature length films, and release them one after another.   Each film would be divisable in half hour episode sized chunks.  So it would be the pseudo Season 5. 

The first one has come out, Futurama - Bender’s Big Score. Similar to the The Simpsons Movie, it cannibalizes old premises from old episodes and gives it a newer twist.  A group of nudist Spammer aliens essentially scam Earth out of ownership of everything by virally commanding Bender to go back in time to steal riches and treasure using a code imbedded in a Bender tattoo on Fry’s ass.   Confused yet?  You won’t be.

As with practically all animated series turned to film, it feels stretched to fill screen time (with the notable exception of South Park - Bigger, Longer & Uncut).  I actually wonder what this will look like chopped up for network.  I think it could potentially improve it.  At the full run time, it lags a tad around the center.  It’s like a late season episode, full of pathos and self-referrential humor, complete with a sigh of relief after it’s over. 

That’s not to say it doesn’t work.  It does.  There are moments that are genuinely laugh out loud funny.  Particularly the opening sequence taking a stab at the Fox Network for cancelling them.  And I thought the Family Guy folks were pissed.  I loved the naming of all the many, MANY, MANY shows that failed opening for Family Guy, but damn howdy, they call them out on the Futurama one.  Beautiful. 

And it’s got its lump in the throat moments.  A single pat on the head is the most touching moment for me.  It involves a dog.  Perhaps I’ve already said too much.

 All in all, it’s what the networks should be aiming for.  A nice, peaceful ride through old familiar territory, giving shout-outs to long time fans of the show, taking potshots where applicable, and maintaining the genuine heart for the characters.  Futurama was always more of an Ahhhhh, than an Ahhahahaha show.  So I’ve got hope for the second film, which is supposedly called Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs, due sometime out in 2008.  Until then, I’ll just have to content myself with reruns.